RANDOM THOUGHTS
What a terrifying concept, implying as it does that everything else here at ALIAS POOR YORICK is clear & coherent & somehow imbued with purpose. You may care to go make a cup of tea and read the sports section while this is going on. If you're staying, please don the appropriate safety gear and sign the OH&S waiver. Remember that you're dealing with people who drive round all day happily entertaining thoughts like "..if you didn't want me to back into your Porsche, why did you park it there ?" and " I think I'll start up a law firm so I can call it Corpuscle, Thripp & Medici"
And while we're on the subject, how come people with Tourettes never jump up and yell "credenza" or "parchment" from the middle of a crowded room ?
If you're anything like me you're probably on the lookout for the sort of "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity that doesn't come along every day. That's right, we're on the lookout for the kind of "once-in-a-lifetime" offer that only comes along once or twice a year. I'll let you know.
Did I mention we've misplaced the office laptop. The one with Jokecheck.
Just once I'd like to say "Arm the photon torpedoes" and have someone actually do something about it. I mean bugger it I'm standing here on the bridge wearing the captain's uniform. It's only fair.
Speaking of which, it's time to find out once and for all if it was Aristotle or Daryl Somers who said "The unexamined life is not worth living".
And I know English is a wonderfully accommodating language where skating on thin ice can land you in hot water, but nothing prepares us for the truly extra-terrestrial experience of sportswriting where in a single paragraph a player travels "a long and hard road which bears fruit" over the course of "a sink or swim season which could easily have seen him out the revolving door"
.... as a great Canadian philosopher once said "The road to hell is paved with mixed metaphors"
Our new state premier needs to act quickly on vital issues like a new "tag" for our licence plates. We're keen on "Victoria: It's Not as Bad as You Think" or "Victoria: You have to Be Somewhere"
& I'd like to see restrictions lifted on the number of letters allowed on personalised plates. I want the lyrics of Ian Dury's "Reasons to be Cheerful" printed on mine.
Seriously, here's my plan : I'm going to write an unauthorised autobiography, sue myself & retire on the proceeds. What could possibly go wrong ?
Finally, remember: If at first you don't succeed, blame your personal assistant.
Join us next time as we continue to ask the hard questions like " how come people always die in alphabetical order ?"
I have to go now and continue work on my novel "Tonight Agapanthus Will Die". Goodbye for now & people - if and only if you are fully qualified, have a Frank Zappa kind of evening.
And while we're on the subject, how come people with Tourettes never jump up and yell "credenza" or "parchment" from the middle of a crowded room ?
If you're anything like me you're probably on the lookout for the sort of "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity that doesn't come along every day. That's right, we're on the lookout for the kind of "once-in-a-lifetime" offer that only comes along once or twice a year. I'll let you know.
Did I mention we've misplaced the office laptop. The one with Jokecheck.
Just once I'd like to say "Arm the photon torpedoes" and have someone actually do something about it. I mean bugger it I'm standing here on the bridge wearing the captain's uniform. It's only fair.
Speaking of which, it's time to find out once and for all if it was Aristotle or Daryl Somers who said "The unexamined life is not worth living".
And I know English is a wonderfully accommodating language where skating on thin ice can land you in hot water, but nothing prepares us for the truly extra-terrestrial experience of sportswriting where in a single paragraph a player travels "a long and hard road which bears fruit" over the course of "a sink or swim season which could easily have seen him out the revolving door"
.... as a great Canadian philosopher once said "The road to hell is paved with mixed metaphors"
Our new state premier needs to act quickly on vital issues like a new "tag" for our licence plates. We're keen on "Victoria: It's Not as Bad as You Think" or "Victoria: You have to Be Somewhere"
& I'd like to see restrictions lifted on the number of letters allowed on personalised plates. I want the lyrics of Ian Dury's "Reasons to be Cheerful" printed on mine.
Seriously, here's my plan : I'm going to write an unauthorised autobiography, sue myself & retire on the proceeds. What could possibly go wrong ?
Finally, remember: If at first you don't succeed, blame your personal assistant.
Join us next time as we continue to ask the hard questions like " how come people always die in alphabetical order ?"
I have to go now and continue work on my novel "Tonight Agapanthus Will Die". Goodbye for now & people - if and only if you are fully qualified, have a Frank Zappa kind of evening.
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