THE PAST IS A FOREIGN COUNTRY AND I'M HAVING A SPOT OF BOTHER GETTING THROUGH CUSTOMS

 


Yesterday, 23 June, 2025, I bought a brand new second-hand Chinese quartz watch from an op-shop for $5. Today I put a !5$ battery in it & we're good to go. Is it now already ? Yes. Yes it is. Most emphatically. Our story starts in Wellington, on Wednesday 4th June on the Interisland Ferry, but if it's anything like the rest of the narrative, it will quickly grow restless and want to go back to Fri 30th May, which is when I flew into Wellington to attend the 50th Anniversary of   TVNZ's AVALON STUDIO COMPLEX where 50 years earlier colour television was unleashed on an unsuspecting public. Along with a second channel. Yes, count them folks, you now have TWO television channels to watch at any given time. Well up until midnight. Yes midnight. Late enough. Why anyone would want to watch television after midnight instead of getting a good night's sleep is perplexing, even a little worrying, but we'll say no more about it, but I think some of you people need to take a good hard look at yourselves & your life-choices. Anyway. 


Back to the usual doomed attempt to restore narrative coherence. It is Fri May 30, around noon. I am about to attempt something I have rarely, if ever, done. Land at Wellington International Airport sober. If you don't know Wellington Airport, let me explain. It's in the middle of Wellington Harbour, there's just water on all sides and quite possibly underneath as well. The landing strip is about the width of a postage stamp and sure it seems long enough but there's water at both ends. It's a wee bit scary & while I'm loath to advocate getting blind drunk on an aeroplane, this is an occasion when it might be worth giving it a shot. It's always worked for me. Until about twenty years ago. But that's another story.,,..,.,

Oh look I'm terribly sorry, I seem to have started to write some sort of novel/memoir/roman a clef instead of finishing this blog post

My apologies. Our apologies. This will never happen again. Probably.

.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fibonacci sequence dolphin boy sex cult

Image
   So this is what happens when you get stoned at MIP-TV with a dodgy Australian producer called Root MacPherson. We were playing Two-up behind the Lionsgate pavilion. It hurts to say this, but I was losing. I'm pretty sure they were changing the rules every time we smoked another joint, but I may be confusing contiguity with causation here. And forgetting that I was playing a game of chance with people from a country where they win philosophical arguments by saying Mate that won't pass the pub test. For those of you unfortunate enough to live in parts of the world where "pub" is not in common usage, a pub is a place where people gather possibly too often and drink possibly too much alcohol. Hey. No judgement here, but in my experience The Pub is not in fact a place of Higher Learning where things are discussed in a calm and logical fashion in order to reach conclusions which are both sound and agreeable. Australians do not in general agree with me on this. And someti...
Read more

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALIAS POOR YORICK

Image
 Thank you for joining us to celebrate 14 years of Alias Poor Yorick. You are all very kind. Pictured above is our CEO and Editor Jeff Browett. We think he is, as usual, trying to prove he really can talk underwater. Later he will attempt to blow out birthday candles underwater so that might be worth tuning in for (1130 AEST).  In the meantime the junior members of staff are celebrating our BIG FOURTEEN by getting drunk like 14 yr olds. This involves drinking 6 longnecks of DB Lager in half an hour before going into the party, and almost always ends with an hour of throwing up in a flowerbed before passing out. Seasoned party goers amongst our staff ... what am I saying, seasoned party goers are our staff. Anyway they appear to be pacing themselves, drinking coffee and reminiscing in French ..ah oui. Ou sont les cocaine binges d'antan ? before joing the senior editorial staff to gaze on the paper mountains of glowing reviews, encouraging comments, and official accolades we've ...
Read more

STORM IN TEABREAK

Image
  EDITORIAL APOLOGY & MEA CULPA MAXIMUS     Finally, a mere seven  weeks after the event, our  FNQ Editor-at-Large, Chip Le Mans Beauregard Jones- Smythe-LaCroix (ex Woodville Racing Quarterly)  has filed this on the spot report from the the scene. He assures us that this extraordinary delay was unavoidable because the piece required extensive polishing and further fact checking. We here at Alias Poor Yorick are not in the habit of harassing professional freelancers or questioning their bar bills, however it must be noted that the bulk of this polishing was done at the Byron Bay Hilton and involved interviewing forty-three known drug dealers I'm sorry I mean film production advisors, two palm readers, and a Reiki practitioner who nearly worked for the Bureau of Meteorology but turned down the job when they realised that BOM was a bit hung up on the science stuff and didn't listen to the secret true voice of the universe. I knew Chip in the old days...
Read more