* Results may vary. Day 55
Welcome back to the 2016 Election Countdown * So today we hit the campaign trail. And it hit back with tears and biscuits. What? Yes. It's always tears and biscuits, said the slightly moist Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull after addressing a group of Girl Guides in Bankstown about the financial benefits of slavery, especially for the unemployable. They just looked at me blankly, complained a perplexed and clearly emotionally exhausted Prime Minister. I suggested this may be because he was talking complete bollocks and he called me a pixie-farting snapdragon before bursting into great heaving sobs and dashing off in a gold carriage drawn by eight white horses. * Treasurer Scott Morrison claimed that he was not yet a complete bastard, but hoped to become a complete bastard before Parliament first sits after the election. He went on to explain that the Budget needed to be thought of as a cricket test match rather than one of those one day things and that we could all better u...