RIGHT ROYAL VISIT
The young Royals have a lot to live up to. This is what happened when The Queen and The Prince Phillip visited a couple of years ago. Mayhem and everything. A Right Royal Visit indeed. Lift your game Will & Kate: How anyone can describe this royal visit as boring is a mystery to the staff here at ALIAS POOR YORICK. We are abuzz and agog. Especially Royal Reporter-at-Large Paul Yorick... We joined the Queen & Prince Phillip last night at Trades Hall for the Rain dance & Crop blessing ceremony. Jacked up on crack and rum, the royal couple daubed the traditional possum-blood stripes on their faces before sacrificing a goat, three mice, and Derryn Hinch in order to ensure bountiful crops for next year. The ceremony concluded with the crowd & the Royals joining in an a capella version of Khe Sanh. Then it was into the ceremonial stolen EH wagon for a red-light-crashing drive down to Fitzroy St & some serious pool hustling at Benny's Bennies & Benzos A...