APOLOGY
Let me make it clear from the outset that I am firmly convinced that some sort of apology is in order. As are my colleagues and financial backers. Of course I could just say I'm sorry and be done with it, but I don't believe in taking the easy way out, and I feel this situation calls for a full explanation. You see where I come from we speak the plain unvarnished truth. We call a stick a stick. Unless it's a particularly long stick, in which case we call it a pole. And of course if it's fairly thick and has fencing wire attached it, we'd probably call it a post. If it's a bloody enormous stick and it's stuck in the ground and covered with leaves we may very well call it a tree. If it's round at one end and sort of flattened out in a curvy fashion at the other end that would be what we call a cricket bat. But you know what I mean. A stick is a stick. At the end of the day. When all's said and done. And isn't it just. Now I've had a loo...