Denial Too
The Author Contemplates the Ludicrous Charges Against Him As I stand here before this tribunal I am appalled, disgusted, and flabbergasted. But most of all, innocent. Totally, completely, absolutely innocent of these and all other charges that may or may not be brought against me. This is clearly what Kafka was talking about about when he famously said "Will you lot piss off, I'm trying to write a play". I'm so innocent I have given my lawyer, Hirohito Fengshui, the day off and will defend myself. Let me make this abundantly clear: I have never conspired to murder one or more of the Wiggles and replace them with ruthless assassin cyborgs. Furthermore, I have never been offered, even on a trial basis, the part of the Black Wiggle. I have never watched "Downton Abbey" with the sound turned down, doing all the voices in a broad New Zealand accent & adding frequent farting noises. I did not encourage Bryce Courtenay to lie about fighting in th...