Didn't Do It, Wasn't There, You Can't Prove a Thing
Ladies & gentleman I am innocent of all charges. I'm here this afternoon to explain to you that there is no need for denials because I did none of these things & I reject all accusations even though or perhaps precisely because, there is nothing to reject. I'm here to make that quite clear. People are out to get me and I'll tell you who, but first I blame the media. And everyone else. Yes you. You know who you are. You've stirred up a lynch mob, sharpened the knives, and fanned the flames that have lit the torches in the hands of the angry faces I see in front of me armed with knives and torches and iPads of hate. Thank you I will have a glass of water. Comedy can be a dirty game, I had no idea just how dirty until now. I have been specifically targeted by CEO s of rival blogging empires. Root Macpherson of Giggle+ and Vic Rhodes of dickfartbumjokesinc, jealous of my boyish good looks, outrageous comedy success, and high-level contacts in the punctuati...