THE DEVIL. WHERE'S PRAVDA
My name is Rebekah and I cannot tell a lie. I have never told a lie. In fact I've only ever seen a lie once and it was dark and I doubt I would recognize it again. So you see your Honour it will be unnecessary for me to swear on a bible here, I will simply speak the truth: Yes I am Rebekah Brooks, flame-haired editortrix of the widely-respected Daily Scum Pig. And yes I am young and bright and beautiful. To that I plead guilty. Chortle chortle. Some people say I have no sense of humour and that is so untrue and unfair. I'm hilarious. And truthful. Which makes it really really hurtful when I hear these terrible lies about me and Andy Coulson having an affair. Yes, we're good friends. We're great friends. And yes sometimes our genitals have found themselves in the same room at the same time without much in the way of clothing to get in our way and this has lead to some stonking great sex, but to call this an affair is absurd. Affairs are conducted in black and ...