SCHAPELLE CORBY EXCLUSIVE




Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Don't hate me because I'm young and beautiful and Australian. That's how I came to be here in the first place. People just hated me. And they weren't that keen about the boogie board either. Those baggage handlers must have really hated me. I blame the unions.

  I am now free after my long and sometimes really quite troubling incarceration. There have been time when I have been denied access to make-up and cable television. I have been denied basic human rights like visits from my media and financial advisers, which I think is against the Geneva Convention.  Now I know how the Pussy Riot Grrls and Nelson Mandela felt. Power and kisses to you, grrls and I hope you get out of jail soon Mr Mandela. Unless you've been a political prisoner like us you cannot truly understand my pain. Channel Nine truly understands my pain. Or rather they did until it became clear to me that Channel Seven understood my pain a bit better. Quite a bit better.

I'd like to thank all the current affairs producers who have believed in me from the beginning. I'd like to thank my sponsors Tsunamee Surfboards and FebFast, my agents, my media advisers, my legal team, and most of all, all those little people who supported and prayed for me when crazed prison bureaucrats supplied with with a sort of shampoo & conditioner completely unsuitable for my hair in those harsh tropical conditions, making my hair look dank and sweaty and just a bit desperate. That was a really horrible time for me and I thank all of you for helping me to survive.

Am I guilty ? Yes. I'm guilty of being young and beautiful and Australian. If that's a crime then lock me up and throw away the key. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Okay. Yes, I will have another Mai Tai. Woman's Day ? Tell 'em they're dreaming. What time's  *Kochie coming to talk to me ?

* For the benefit of our overseas viewers, Kochie is David Koch, a highly-paid and highly-respected front-person employed by Channel 7 in Australia. Google him. We're all fucked really.

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