UNITED STATES OF AUSTRALIA

A national cabinet meeting  friday may 8 to announce a press conference on monday may 11 which will report on the decisions of the national cabinet meeting on may 8 and some other stuff which may or may not have happened in the intervening interval and of course being dependant on those dickheads from the surfclub not stuffing it up for everybody else yet again



ENTER THE PRIME MINISTER MR SCOTT MORRISON RESPLENDENT IN THE GOLD AND PURPLE DIGNITY OF HIGH ELECTED OFFICE OFFSET BY THE CHARMING AND CHEEKY GRIN OF AN ORDINARY TRUE BLUE AUSSIE WHO HAD ONE JOB TO DO AND HASN'T FUCKED IT UP.


Let me make one thing perfectly clear ... we\re not there yet. But we can see from here where there may almost certainly be lurking. Now you've all put in a beaut effort, really good effort. Don't stop. It's vital if we want to keep going, that we don't stop. So we've decided a few restrictions can be lifted, particulary on tuesday and wednesday afternoons, and friday mornings if it's overcast. And we'll be letting you know by tuesday afternoon at the latest which restrictions exactly they will be be. This is tricky. This is complicated. To be quite honest my brain hurts a bit, but I expect yours does as well. Let's all be each other's paracetemol here. It's the Australian way.

Because this hasn't gone away. Make no mistake. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's gone. It's very tiny. It's a virus. Very small. You can't really see it all. It's still there. Hiding.

Dan, do you have anything add


DAN ANDREWS: Yes. I have a very deep voice. It adds gravitas.

SCOTT MORRISON;  Yes you do Dan, and I'm sure you're right about the gravitas. I usually leave the cooking to the ladies, but there you go. Anyone else ....

ALL THE OTHER PREMIERS: Aw get fucked Dan you fucking commie poofter wanker

SCOTT MORRISON; All right well that seems to be everything. That's great. Good to see we can play as a team despite our political differences .Let's go play cricket.

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