FERRET NATION

I for one welcome our new Ferret overlords. This has nothing to do with the fact that the Ferret Nation has seen fit to deed me the south island of New Zealand. And before harsh words fly I'd like to remind you all that collaborator is an ugly word. Not as ugly as axolotl but that's another matter. People, we need the Ferrets to lead us. They are kind and good and have very sharp teeth.
The three essential  attributes of successful leaders.
But wait, there's more ...


                      WHY FERRETS WILL MAKE GREAT LEADERS

1. No ferret has ever uttered the phrase  "the jus served with the Chicken Bazerol lacked ethical coherence"

2. Ferrets can water ski and do differential calculus at the same time

3. Middle-aged white ferrets do not wear dreadlocks or buy Harleys & call their wives "my old lady"

4. All ferrets are adept at the much-maligned martial art of Feng Shui. If you do not surrender gracefully the ferrets will invade and tidy the shit out of your little country

5. Ferrets know how to say 'Fuck off' in almost forty languages, making them ideally suited to a life of international diplomacy.

6. They are a supremely adaptable and creative race: unable to ever spell capuccino correctly, they invented the latte ( a far better and more sophisticated beverage, especially as prepared by the excellent baristas at Brunettis in Melbourne's city square) Product placement ? I have no idea what you're talking about. Back to the ferrets.

7. The Ferret Nation has been proudly nuclear-free since 1826, and remain committed to a nuclear-free future. In fact they're a bit puzzled as to how the whole  nuclear thing got past them in the first place, and are pretty sure no-one checked with them on the day, but not to worry there'll be no more of that crap. Ooh look, a rabbit ...

8. They look good. They look cool. Oh come on people, how many of you could make those rabbit ears work ? If Putin had worn those rabbit ears even I would have voted for him.

9. No ferret would ever open a fish & chip shop and call it a Fish & Chippery.

10. Ferrets are truly excellent ballroom dancers. For me, this is the clincher.


Go on people:    VOTE (1) FERRET 

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