Sermon on the Mouse

This week bought to you by the Rev Vin Zinfandel of Our Lady of  Perpetual Disconcobulation in Boronia ... Good evening and thank you for this opportunity to share a few thoughts with you over the Internet. A broad church indeed. And as I always say to my flock, I'm not so much a High Anglican as a "Hi" Anglican. I like to feel we make everyone feel welcome here at our Lady of Perpetual Disconcobulation, even Presbyterians. That's just how I roll. Now I like to talk to God on a regular basis, sometimes on your behalf, and sometimes just for fun.

  Years ago I said to him I said "God" because that's his name and it suits him I think but I digress, I said God here's the deal " I'll save souls for you if you save a case of Sauvignon Blanc for me". And God said nothing. Nothing at all. And as you all know, that's God's way of saying yes.

Before I go on I would like to thank our parishioners for meeting our church steeple restoration target of $50,000, & so I will desist from posting any more signs outside the Church saying "Make Jesus Your Faithbook Friend". A promise is a promise. And here's another promise ....

God moves in a mysterious way, and so will you after our special Gold Class Cognac Communion. 10pm every Saturday. Bring your Amex card and all your sins !

As the peops of my parish can attest, I have done extensive missionary work in the Napa Valley in California, in the Barossa here in Australia, and years in the north of Italy & the South of France. Right now I'm looking to save some souls in Marlborough region of that lovely heathen but sunny and well-watered country New Zealand. Watch out Cloudy Bay, God and I have plans for you. Where was I ? Oh right, talking with God. And I'm reminded of part of a recent conversation I had with my main man. The Cosmic CEO....

I said to him "God" I said, because that is after all his name and we are not after all stuck with one of those old-fashioned religions where you cannot mention the name of God without everything going to Hell if you'll excuse the somewhat clumsy metaphor. Where was I ? Ah yes. God . Omniscience. Omnipotent. .. what ? yes I will thanks, just a small one .. oh for God's sake man you've barely dampened the glass, here give me that. Where was I ? Ah yes.  Can God be omniscient and at the same time not get Glee ? God assures me this is absolutely possible. Is there anything else that you, God, simply do not understand ?" I asked him." Yes," he said. "Junior MasterChef. Seriously. What the fuck ?"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Secret Diary of Gina Rinehart aged 58+3/4

HOW TO GIVE UP SMOKING PART FIVE

I AM ENIGMATIC & DIAPHANOUS