Let's Get Psychical
And while we're on the subject, it's a little-known fact that all cats can determine the specific gravity of any object or person just by looking at them. Unfortunately, because of their inability to speak, this unique and remarkable ability is pretty much a complete waste of time.....
... and look it could well be that it was thinking of stuff like this that caused me to drive erratically on the way down to ANGELS4U, our local psychic healing and beauty parlour (formerly Uncle Les's Used Cars and Barely-Disguised Stolen Goods Emporium). I guess I was a bit excited about their Tightarse Tuesday specials although to be honest I really wasn't in the mood for the high-colonic and aura cleansing ("We'll make your bowels and your aura bright pink !") for only $121.99 . But look I really love ANGELS4U - the world needs a place where you can go get a Brazilian & at the same time have Tarot reading to see if it was worth the trouble. And I've always been a pretty spiritual sort of person - I watch Star Trek and Buffy the Vampire Slayer & I never travel anywhere without a spare pack of Nag Champa. No, in the end it was a no brainer: how could I go past the chest-wax and seance for $49.95 ? I had been promising for ages to try and hook up with my old mate Vic Rhodes who died two years ago at the end of the comedy festival. How fitting I hear you cry.....
So I was trying to explain all this to this fresh-faced young cop who had the temerity to ask if I was one of those New Age weirdos. Not me I said. I explained that I was a fifth-level operational psychic mechanic and a "Totally Illuminated" follower of the Archangel Fred. I thought it prudent to omit details like chanting Om shanti rah rah while JadeFlower rolls the breakfast joint. Some cops just don't understand.
Anyway the unenlightened little shit gives me a ticket for implausible driving and operating a life without a current coherent cosmological overview. God save me from cops with degrees in philosophy !
And did I have any luck making contact with my old mate Vic ? Absolutely. He's in hell, but he says really it's not that bad: it's sort of like not being invited to the Logies - there's not that much pain involved, just this nagging feeling that somewhere down the line you've pissed off someone from Channel Nine management.
... and look it could well be that it was thinking of stuff like this that caused me to drive erratically on the way down to ANGELS4U, our local psychic healing and beauty parlour (formerly Uncle Les's Used Cars and Barely-Disguised Stolen Goods Emporium). I guess I was a bit excited about their Tightarse Tuesday specials although to be honest I really wasn't in the mood for the high-colonic and aura cleansing ("We'll make your bowels and your aura bright pink !") for only $121.99 . But look I really love ANGELS4U - the world needs a place where you can go get a Brazilian & at the same time have Tarot reading to see if it was worth the trouble. And I've always been a pretty spiritual sort of person - I watch Star Trek and Buffy the Vampire Slayer & I never travel anywhere without a spare pack of Nag Champa. No, in the end it was a no brainer: how could I go past the chest-wax and seance for $49.95 ? I had been promising for ages to try and hook up with my old mate Vic Rhodes who died two years ago at the end of the comedy festival. How fitting I hear you cry.....
So I was trying to explain all this to this fresh-faced young cop who had the temerity to ask if I was one of those New Age weirdos. Not me I said. I explained that I was a fifth-level operational psychic mechanic and a "Totally Illuminated" follower of the Archangel Fred. I thought it prudent to omit details like chanting Om shanti rah rah while JadeFlower rolls the breakfast joint. Some cops just don't understand.
Anyway the unenlightened little shit gives me a ticket for implausible driving and operating a life without a current coherent cosmological overview. God save me from cops with degrees in philosophy !
And did I have any luck making contact with my old mate Vic ? Absolutely. He's in hell, but he says really it's not that bad: it's sort of like not being invited to the Logies - there's not that much pain involved, just this nagging feeling that somewhere down the line you've pissed off someone from Channel Nine management.
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