IT'S ( about ) TIME

BUT FIRST: We apologise to our international subscribers, but there's some sort of election going on in this part of Australia even as we speak, and we've been forced to accept money (or rather a triple scoop boysenberry dream) to run this paid party political broadcast. Having said that we'd like to point out that the staff and proprietors of FCJ/Alias Poor Yorick like totally endorse...

THE INNOCENT PARTY


Votes for us. It's not too late, you've still got a couple of hours. Why ? Because none of this shit is our fault. We weren't there, we didn't do it, you can't prove a thing. The Innocent Party : There's only one verdict

Look there's bugger all choice. You've got two parties whose major argument revolves around who'll get to pick the band for the Melbourne Grammar School Reunion dance, and the other party with pretty nice people not all of whom ride bicycles .Why not let us have a go at stuffing it up. The Innocent Party : we haven't done anything wrong so far.

Here at The Innocent Party we've always believed in calling a spade a manually-operated agricultural cultivation facilitator and we see no reason to change. There's no place for plain speaking in politics : vote for us right now and we'll keep the bullshit where it belongs - in state government.

If elected we absolutely like totally promise you that

(a) our leader will never be photographed in budgie-smugglers

(b) there will be a paradigm shift with regard to the socio-economic geographical framing of financial statistics

(c) we will build a railway line to your front-door. Yes, every single one of you (NOT A CORE PROMISE)

(d) we will listen to the little people like the man I followed in traffic the other day sporting a bumper sticker which read: I play chess & I vote. I mean no-one wants to screw with the powerful chess-playing lobby. Or that little-heard section of the population who really speak to me with their bumper-sticker: 'We loved the West Wing and even The Sopranos but we're not sure about The Wire I mean the language ... and we vote"


VOTE FOR US : WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG ?

VOTE INNOCENT (1) : WHO COULD BLAME YOU ?


(Written and authorised by a desperate-looking man trying to talk that barista into making a triple-shot latte)

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