ALIAS POOR YORICK

Welcome to THE FORK the future of food blogging. We don't just get in there and review. We are total Ninja. We work by night.  Invisible. Deadly. You'll never know we were there. We may not even be there, but you will be judged. This is no place for the weak of heart  or stomach. This is food-blogging as martial arts. This is war. MKR ? I don't think so pal. Your Kitchen doesn't even rate.  MasterChef? Don't make me laugh. forget Iron Chef, forget Guru Chef (yes I know it hasn't happened yet, but forget it already). The future of cooking has been here since yesterday and I've dined at his temple.  His name ? Artemis Artaud . He's young, major-talented, and borderline psychotic. He's an Olympic pistol gold-medallist and a heroin addict. He's perfect. A young flawed guru figure, he's not God but you get the feeling he might have God's private mobile number. Well, at least conceptually.   Artaud has taken over at Proust's Kitche...

POPE YORICK II     I shouldn't really be talking about this yet, I mean nothing's confirmed.... you didn't even know I was papabile did you ( for the tiny minority of my readers who don't already know, this means shortlisted for the pope gig, one of the chosen few, a likely contender, and while we're on the subject it's not too late to get a few bucks down on me, I think you can still get 12 or even 15 to 1 odds, money for jam because it's pretty much a lock, just a couple of contractual details and your humble but incredibly talented managing editor will be installed as Pope Yorick II. I'm not saying money has changed hands, I'm just saying this is a bet you can't lose )  But wait, I hear you say, you're not a Cardinal, you're not even a catholic, you're a lapsed Presbyterian. The cardinals are going to spot this. And you're right, and my point is, so what ? You've had an all-catholic team in the Vatican up to now, and...