ALIAS POOR YORICK

Of course there are questions. There are always questions. Especially when you publish a wildly successful comedy blog full of satirical insights, compassion, and wisdom. Or even this one. Questions like ...  'Is this shit supposed to be funny?'  'Why is the sky blue?'  'I'm thinking about becoming gay, will I have to wear tight shiny shorts and dance all night in discos to Kylie Minogue songs?'  & 'What is metadata anyway?' The answers by the way are (a) yes (b) because it's composed entirely of blue atoms (c) only if you're a boy &  (d) you'll have to ask George Brandis about that. For the sake of the younger and more impressionable in our audience, you'll want to make sure you match up the right answer with the right question here, and for our overseas listeners I should explain George Brandis. But I can't. George says he is the Attorney General in the current government, but in fact he is the minister for looki...

Well come on now, it's a week into the new year and I haven't heard a whiff of your New Year's resolutions. I've made mine of course. Just the usual stuff - become a better bitcoin billionaire, lose a third of a kilo, improve my Greek, Latin, and High German, and learn Mandarin so I can understand at a deeper level the extremely tidy 13th Century Chinese poet Feng Shui. Finally, I have resolved to attain saint-like levels of patience, tolerance, and understanding. Honesty forces me to admit this last one took a tumble by Friday when I was forced to sack a junior writer after the grievously incorrect use of the future pluperfect in an article about farting. And perhaps ordering him to be tarred-and-feathered was a little extreme but this is grammar we're talking about. Okay, yes, and I know I promised I was going to stop making fun of  my older brother Tristan's emotional support Alpaca and it was good of him to travel all the way from New York to join us f...