ALIAS POOR YORICK

Let me make one thing perfectly clear - I did not want to make this concession speech. I did not wish to concede this election. You may have noticed that it has been some nine days since polls closed and that I am only now standing on this stage because my staff and other concerned party members are behind me goading me with pointed sticks and pitchforks in a decidedly non-ironic fashion. They tell me that the numbers are against me, that I do not have enough votes to govern and I say that numbers can be  treacherous lying little scum pig bastard things of no real value in determining a proper and useful result. However I am forced to accept that I may be in the minority on this point. Before I move on to grudging congratulations and the all-important business of finding people to blame let me just say that although we may not have received as many votes as we had hoped, these votes were of an indisputably higher value than the votes cast against us, and were cas...