PUNK NOSTALGIA

Don't talk to me about the Sex Pistols. Posers. We invented punk right here in Mildura back in 1973. Real punk. We didn't even have a name for it. We were too busy being authentic. We just turned up and drowned in each other's vomit. The lead singer would bite his own head off, regurgitate it and kick himself in the face till he was covered in blood. The band was so loud every time they played planes would fall out of the sky. The manager was some rat bastard called Rat Bastard. Got a contract out of Virgin Records paying the band fifty grand if they never played again. So they spent all the money on ferrets  & drugs then put out a record called Ukele Genoicide. Forty-two minutes of a recording of ukeles being feed into a big meat-grinder. F--- it was unreal how much they kept it real. They used to get so drunk they'd smash other people's instruments. That's punk. I remember they had this rotting pigs head on a stake on stage every time they played. Same one, night after night. They could have had a fresh pigs head but no it was important to them to keep faith with their fans. You can't fake shit . People know.

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