11.30 : Isolation. Self-isolation. Lockdown. What sort of cruel jokes are these. There is nothing new here. We are alone. Always alone. Born alone, live alone, die alone. Forgot to order breakfast.
11.47: Alone so alone here in the Motel Mortality. The mediocrity of it all, the banality. Heidegger said it best, didn't he, when he said "I wish I'd remembered to order breakfast " Schopenhauer would have remembered.
12.19 : Check diary, have 4-hour block set aside from 1-5 : Attempt suicide. But why four hours. Usually only takes me half that time. Seems like wallowing in it. Should re-read Heidegger on this.
1.15pm: Almost stayed in bed. Get up ? What for. The futility of it all.
1.40: Caramelised-eel-and-paw- paw-icecream with weetbix for breakfast. It's all I deserve really. I might have coffee and then kill myself.
1.55: Call from Valkerie my personal stylist. Restrictions lifted. My life has purpose again.
2.00: Broke into a smile. Mild injury. Not doing that again.
3.05: Call from Valkerie's PA Siegfried. Total Disaster. Delivery of black nail polish and Noir lipsticke held up at NSW border by customs brute ruling not essential goods. WTFF.
3.10: Impossible to go on living. Barbarians at the gate. Order double-shot Hemlock from UberDeaths.
4.00: White House Press conference. Trump taking acid, washing it down with detergent. Still no hemlock. This one's on Uberdeaths. There in half an hour, or double your agony back.
4.45: Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck you death. Fucking useless Chinese Hemlock. Not only am I not dead, I'm stuck here watching Neighbours. For eternity. I could cry.