THE FERRET WHISPERER
I didn't choose ferrets, they chose me. It started that day I was driving through Boronia and saw a rough, handwritten sign that just said "Ferrets" and a phone number. You can imagine the rest. Then that defining moment driving down Ferntree Gully Rd behind a car with a window-sticker that read "We'll see what my ferret has to say". Clearly one of those super articulate ferrets I'd heard about who hang around in cafes in Northcote saying things like ... " It's time for a paradigm shift in our thinking about social-networking".
Since then I've made it my business to get inside the ferret mind, and it's time to share these insights. Ferrets are widely misunderstood. For instance, did you know that no ferret has ever been a member of the communist party ? Nor has any ferret ever been convicted of major drug-trafficking. And, more importantly, no ferret has ever dressed up as Santa Claus and interrupted the writing of this blog. They just don't look right with a beard.
So, in an effort to increase understanding between people and ferrets, and to remind you yet again that a ferret is not just for Xmas ....
Ten Things You Didn't Know About Ferrets
1. Ferrets have an excellent sense of humour, although the punchline to all their jokes is "trousers". Always the same .. How many ferrets does it take to change a light bulb ? Trousers . Why did the ferret cross the road ? Trousers. (Huge ferret laughs. Guaranteed)
2. Ferrets are poor drivers. Traffic signs confuse them and the noise frightens them
3. While not regular church-goers, most ferrets have a strong belief in God
4. All ferrets are called Nigel
5. Ferrets have a keen interest in modern French philosophers, especially Baudrillard, but are totally obsessed with the Existentialists. Many of them claim that the 'hero' of Camus' L'Etranger, while ostensibly a man, is in fact a ferret.
6. Ferrets have been cleared of all suspected involvement in the Bay of Pigs fiasco
7. Ferrets are notorious liars. I once shared a house with a ferret who claimed he'd sold a screenplay to George Lucas.
8. Though lactose intolerant, ferrets will happily sit in a cafe with you and pretend to drink latte because they are such sociable creatures
9. Ferrets can't count
Since then I've made it my business to get inside the ferret mind, and it's time to share these insights. Ferrets are widely misunderstood. For instance, did you know that no ferret has ever been a member of the communist party ? Nor has any ferret ever been convicted of major drug-trafficking. And, more importantly, no ferret has ever dressed up as Santa Claus and interrupted the writing of this blog. They just don't look right with a beard.
So, in an effort to increase understanding between people and ferrets, and to remind you yet again that a ferret is not just for Xmas ....
Ten Things You Didn't Know About Ferrets
1. Ferrets have an excellent sense of humour, although the punchline to all their jokes is "trousers". Always the same .. How many ferrets does it take to change a light bulb ? Trousers . Why did the ferret cross the road ? Trousers. (Huge ferret laughs. Guaranteed)
2. Ferrets are poor drivers. Traffic signs confuse them and the noise frightens them
3. While not regular church-goers, most ferrets have a strong belief in God
4. All ferrets are called Nigel
5. Ferrets have a keen interest in modern French philosophers, especially Baudrillard, but are totally obsessed with the Existentialists. Many of them claim that the 'hero' of Camus' L'Etranger, while ostensibly a man, is in fact a ferret.
6. Ferrets have been cleared of all suspected involvement in the Bay of Pigs fiasco
7. Ferrets are notorious liars. I once shared a house with a ferret who claimed he'd sold a screenplay to George Lucas.
8. Though lactose intolerant, ferrets will happily sit in a cafe with you and pretend to drink latte because they are such sociable creatures
9. Ferrets can't count
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