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Showing posts from September, 2012

FERRET OLYMPIC PERFORMANCE REVIEW

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FERRET OLYMPIC REVIEW COMMITTEE I've had a quick look over the findings of the committee of enquiry into Ferret Olympic performance, and I'd have to say they've done a pretty fair job. Since Ferret Olympic policy shifted away from actual events and medal tallies, and concentrated on the real business of the Olympics, which is excuses, idiotic behaviour, and excuses for idiotic behaviour, ferrets are coming up gold!   Ferret excuses have improved massively, both in quality and quantity. Ferret swimmers complained the water was too wet, ferret runners complained that the starting guns had frightened them and they were disadvantaged by having to run a really long way on tiny little legs, and ferret archers claimed the daylight hurt their eyes and the events should have been held at night. Olympic standard whinging !! Bravo !! I thought the committee may have seen fit to draw special attention to the ferret hurdler who, after downing fifteen lagers and placing seco

Secret Diary of Gina Rinehart aged 58+3/4

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Dear Diary, Exhausted. Just plum tuckered out. People out there don't realise how tiring it is counting money. Especially when you've got as much as I do. And sometimes by the end of the day I've got quite a lot more than when I started, and then I have to count it all over again ! It's really hard ! And then yesterday I was up to 14 billion, 476 million and I got interrupted by a serf and I lost count. Pshaw ! Well of course I had him beheaded. You have to really. Otherwise they don't respect you. And I'm still gasping with shock over finding out about the minimum wage. Gosh gee whizz it's just awful. $606 is far far too much. And then imagine my further shock when I found out you have to pay them this every week !!!!! I thought it was just a one-off payment. We're doomed, I'm telling you this for nothing dear diary. If this sort of wanton behaviour carries on we'll end up with a world ruled by communists, cross-dressers, and giant heroi