ALIAS POOR YORICK

     The management team here at ALIAS POOR YORICK heartily endorses the Liquor Industry's move to voluntarily put health warnings on all alcohol. We applaud such measures. In fact we applaud any moves to put reading matter on the back of bottles - poems, jokes, short stories, paragraphs of complete gibberish to bewilder the hopelessly drunk. Why not. And look Australia's a big country with a big thirst and a huge range of drinkers; clearly we need a wide range of warnings. We're here to help: CAUTION:  The Law of Gravity cannot be repealed by a majority vote of the five remaining drinkers in the back bar of the Elephant & Hearing-Aid at closing time WARNING: If the Opposition policy on climate change starts making sense STOP DRINKING IMMEDIATELY. Call a doctor. Hell, just go straight to your nearest emergency medical facility. NOW. WARNING: May cause delusions of artistic and intellectual competence. DO NOT attempt to write poetry, play the guitar, or expl