ALIAS POOR YORICK

Best not ask where we got this info. Let's just say I lent Julian Assange a cup of lawyers a few months back & he's really grateful.... ... and forgive me if some of this is a bit disjointed - I had to fight Richard Wilkins for the notes and there's bits of  blood and peroxide all over them. Anyway, details so far:  So. Forget William and Kate -  this will be the wedding of the century. Angelina says it's all about the children, which explains why they plan to paint the south of France gold & fill it with hundreds of thousands of helium balloons. Asked if it was all going to be bigger than Ben Hur, Angelina frowned and said "Who's he? I don't think he's on the guest list"  The couple, known to their older children as Mommy and that guy from Fight Club, you know the one with the hair and the cigarettes, will be married on their estate in the south of France.   The simple but intensely moving and deeply spiritual service will take pl

Traditional Love Ballad ( arr. The Pogues) Fuck I'm drunk & I'm drunk as fuck I'm drunk so drunk Couldn't give a fuck Buy me another whiskey I'll look better when you're drunk Buy us both a whiskey Are those my teeth Over there on the floor Oh fuck it Where's me whiskey Give me whiskey Or give me death But first give me whiskey Blood and mud & truth and death Well fuck that all that & that & that Darling just go get me more Of that famous Irish Whiskey (The Brendan Behan remix)

                                                                                                                ARRIVAL CARD                                        Please answer all questions, except that one about pikelets. It really shouldn't be there, it just seemed like a good idea at the time. Welcome to New Zealand, and hey, we don't make fun of your vowel sounds. 1. Are you visiting for the Rugby World Cup ?  (a) yes  (b) no  (c) why not, what's wrong with you, don't you like sport ? Yeah okay, we know it's over but we had all these printed up about six months ago and we didn't want to waste them. Besides, we won that one. Pretty cool eh ? We beat the French 2. New Zealand is  ?   (a) awesome   (b) choice  (c) awesome and choice 3. Have you seen that show "Flight of the Concords" ? It's pretty funny, eh ? They're from New Zealand. Did you know that ? And Brett just won a best song Oscar. Awesome, eh ?  (a) Yes I know  (b) I&