MasterBastard Finals : Shock Result

PM TONY ABBOTT & PM PETER O'NEILL TO SHARE VICTORY

Runaway ratings success and first foray into entertainment television for RuperTV, "MasterBastard" came to a sensational series end today when judges were unable to pick a clear winner, calling the first final a draw. The two finalists, Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott and Papua New Guinea Prime Minister Peter O'Neill, surprised judges and audience alike when they happily agreed to share the victors spoils; their win having been virtually guaranteed by the agreement to proceed no further with any sort of inquiry into recent events in the detention centre on Manus Island. Bastardry at its best and brightest.

The judging panel, headed by former World Champion Complete Bastard George Bush Jr, said that while PM Abbott looked like a runaway winner from the start, PM O'Neill came galloping to the fore with this act of casual collusion. "Casual collusion goes a long way in the business of  bastardry" said the judges, "and we were particularly impressed by PM "Machete" O'Neill's outrageous claim that he was able to determine whether or not a refugee was genuine just by looking at them. This sort of thing is the mark of a truly great bastard brain. We expect great things from him in the future"

Executive producers Gina "Tears for Fears" Rinehart and Rupert "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" Murdoch were said to be delighted with the result, and extremely happy about the overall success of the show. They moved quickly to quash controversy over the poor showing from much fancied Immigration Minister Scott "Shout Shout, Let it All Out" Morrison : "Sure, Scott was a great bastard right from the start. He was simple, strong and direct. But he had this tendency to come out, be a great big bastard, and then go hide in his room, refusing to come out even when called for dinner by his mother. This made it easy for others to overshadow him"

Season two of MasterBastard is already in production.




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