how to give up smoking : part two

 ( with special introduction by CEO Jeff Browett, a special introduction to the introduction by Sebastian Kingsporn, lickspittle and fawning fool, and a special guest appearance by OH&S officer Ken Keen who will give a brief chat about the dangers of flying oxford commas and interrobangs)



Hi friends. I'm C.O.O Sebastian Kingsporn, standing in for our CEO Jeff Browett, who can't be with us today owing to a freak accident with a dangling participle in an important piece being guest-edited by Barnaby Joyce, interrogating the critical mass of arguments which must be resolved before attempting to resolve the balance of responsibilities and rights inherent in the burning question of whether it's okay to get pissed and fall over in public and have some cockhead video you. Pause for applause... oh I'm sorry I wasn't supposed to read that bit out..... excuse me, I'm getting a message.... ladies and gentleman... duck your heads in silent prayer for our CEO Jeff Browett, who is currently arriving in his one man all electric drone.

 

People. People of many pronouns, prayers, and peculiarities. I am here with a simple programme that will free you from the clutches of tobacco. The next pack you buy will be your last if you follow my directions. Join me tomorrow as we smoke our way to freedom from cigarettes and cigarette. Sounds too easy ? Yes. It's too easy. Cobber.


Join me tomorrow  outside Northland in the carpark. Wait. What's that ? Seems we'vr run out of time and we'll have to take this up in How to Stop Smoking  Part 3


 ( pssst. Hey Sebastian, do you think they bought it ? I just couldn't be fucked cutting down that intro of yours. Way too long.

              You wrote it

                  Oh yeah

                But hey. You're the boss )


 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. funnycomedyjokesMarch 5, 2024 at 11:30 AM

    You lazy lazy bastard. What's your excuse this time. Had to change a nappy ? Ran out of coffee ? Cigarettes? You sir, are lower than scum. And you've got the t-shirt to prove it. Well you did until you lost it in that drunken game of tarot poker. Weak c---
    Yours faithfully, A friend

    ReplyDelete

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