How to deal with not being elected Pope

NOT THE POPE



Well Bro, I'm gutted. Bloody devastated. I know you shouldn't count your eggs before they're all in the same basket, but I really thought I was in with a chance here. I suppose the pearls will have to go back. So what the hell happened ?

Look I don't want to be bitter and twisted but I blame the catholics. You bastards. Always looking after their own. It's bad enough you chased us out of France five hundred years ago, but now this ! You bastards. I hope you realise you've missed out on the chance to see all the cardinals in dinner suits instead of that gay shit they're stuck with now. It would've been a way cool popehood. And what about the Bugatti Veyron ? Would've been the best popemobile ever ! And I had it all costed out - totally pimped and bullet-proofed under budget. Enough left over to clean that graffiti off the ceiling of the Cistern Chapel and slap on a couple of coats of low-sheen Arctic White. Youse have blown this big time.

Anyway, look could you just sign this for Centrelink saying I applied for the job ? I need to fill out the rest of my job diary by the end of the week. If you change you minds, but. About the Pope thing. Youse know where to find me.










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