YOU KNOW YOU'RE A ROCK STAR WHEN ...

1.   You have a parrot that's addicted to drugs

2.   Your limo driver arrives at work in his own limo

3.   You want to change your name to  "The Artist Formerly Known As ..."
       and you can't for the life of you remember what name it is
       that people aren't allowed to call you anymore

4.    Leonard Cohen rocks up to sing in a tribute show to you

5.    A small South American country invites you to be its President

6.    You accept

7.    You buy a copy of your own tell-all autobiography to find out what
        you did between 1983 and 1989

8.     You ring Madonna to find out if your marriage really ended that badly

7.     You get the feeling you're churning out the same old numbers

9.     You're married to a super-model and you can't remember which castle
          you left her in, the one in Switzerland or the one in Scotland

10.    Your career is at that stage where you either have to die, or do an album
          of classic show tunes with Lady Gaga. You shoot yourself. Twice.

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