Is 14 coffees too many ?


                                                                           
Or should that be 'are 14 coffees too many ?' Are we talking about a situation or a quantity or in fact a situation caused by a quantity or a quantity as a result of which the situation has evolved. Or is it an amount in which case 'is' would theoretically be correct but you have to ask yourself as you teeter between 13 and 14 coffees, is correct grammar the thing to be really worried about ? And really are we talking about an objective situation here ? Some of us can drink 14 or 15 coffees and barely notice it.
Is 14 coffees too much for who ? Or is that whom ? and does it matter. Is it too much for you and does that as a result automatically mean it's too much for me ? And what exactly do we mean when we assert that something is "too much" ? I mean if 14 coffees is too much does that mean that 4 coffees is too little ? I was waiting for my coffee the other day and someone walked in and said "can I have a large soy decaf latte ?" & I said no you can't, this is a coffee bar. They're going to throw me out of that place one day. I went to sleep once, I didn't like it. Have you ever thought how weird it would be if you met God and he turned out to look exactly like George Clinton with the rainbow dreads and shades and everything ? That'd put your little caffeine alleged overdose predicament in the shadows wouldn't it ? Eh ? This whole cause and effect thing can get pretty complicated I mean do you have to be a wanker to buy a Saab or does driving a Saab turn you into a wanker and at the end of the day how would you set up some sort of reliable scientific method to test that. Just while I've got you for a minute I'm been thinking about setting up a club for people who hate joining clubs. Do you think you might be interested ? No ? Great, perfect. And then of course some bloody nanny state medical expert comes along and tells us that too much coffee can make you anxious which is the sort of crap that could keep you awake worrying & I drink coffee if I want to stay awake worrying. I think my teeth are on fire. You look a bit shaky mate, just try and calm down. Calm down. Why is it always calm down. Why can't you calm up ? It's a whole much more positive vibe. Do you think you have to be able to fit into hipster jeans to be a real hipster or am I just being a bit literal about the whole .. mate are you all right you seem a bit twitchy. Maybe we need something to chill you out. Waiter. 14 chamomile teas. Better make 'em doubles.

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