BEAR WITH ME
BEAR GRYLLS !! Live on Stage !!
.... yes it's exciting stuff as we welcome to Melbourne the man who when all the other children simply threatened to go down the bottom of the garden and eat worms, actually went down the bottom of the garden and ate worms, taking with him only a small film crew to record visual proof for his mother that it was possible to survive alone and unaided down the bottom of the garden for periods of up to one hour (including commercial breaks). What can we expect from this amazing man ?
# Watch as Mr Grylls, armed only with steely determination, amazing survival skills and that weird black sweat make-up we plaster all over his forehead, stays alive by drinking water straight out of the tap using only some old polystyrene cups he's found under the sink .....
# Marvel as Mr Grylls survives the bitter cold of a Melbourne night by bribing the assistant floor manager to turn up the heating in the theatre
# Be amazed as we all were to learn that Mr Grylls got the name "Bear" not for his amazing survival technique in crawling for warmth into some freshly-killed carcass & eating selected internal organs, but in fact by playing Texas hold-em poker with a Kodiak bear over a period of several weeks, winning enough money to have takeaway pizza flown in from Anchorage
# Mr Grylls will also demonstrate his ability to triumph against almost insurmountable odds as he manages to get a taxi from the CBD to Ferntree Gully at 4 in the morning without prepaying the fare !!!!
# Thrill as Bear Grylls sings a single from his latest CD " You can extract potable liquid from the anal glands of a freshly-killed antelope( I wish I'd become a lawyer)"
Mr Grylls will fill out the evening by singing excerpts from Madame Butterfly and, if the mood takes him, reading from Beowulf in the original Old English. We're not sure why he'll be doing this sort of thing, but as Oscar Wilde once pointed out : You can't just get up on stage and drink goat's urine for two hours"
Actually that may not have been Oscar Wilde, that might have been me. You can tell the difference.
.... yes it's exciting stuff as we welcome to Melbourne the man who when all the other children simply threatened to go down the bottom of the garden and eat worms, actually went down the bottom of the garden and ate worms, taking with him only a small film crew to record visual proof for his mother that it was possible to survive alone and unaided down the bottom of the garden for periods of up to one hour (including commercial breaks). What can we expect from this amazing man ?
# Watch as Mr Grylls, armed only with steely determination, amazing survival skills and that weird black sweat make-up we plaster all over his forehead, stays alive by drinking water straight out of the tap using only some old polystyrene cups he's found under the sink .....
# Marvel as Mr Grylls survives the bitter cold of a Melbourne night by bribing the assistant floor manager to turn up the heating in the theatre
# Be amazed as we all were to learn that Mr Grylls got the name "Bear" not for his amazing survival technique in crawling for warmth into some freshly-killed carcass & eating selected internal organs, but in fact by playing Texas hold-em poker with a Kodiak bear over a period of several weeks, winning enough money to have takeaway pizza flown in from Anchorage
# Mr Grylls will also demonstrate his ability to triumph against almost insurmountable odds as he manages to get a taxi from the CBD to Ferntree Gully at 4 in the morning without prepaying the fare !!!!
# Thrill as Bear Grylls sings a single from his latest CD " You can extract potable liquid from the anal glands of a freshly-killed antelope( I wish I'd become a lawyer)"
Mr Grylls will fill out the evening by singing excerpts from Madame Butterfly and, if the mood takes him, reading from Beowulf in the original Old English. We're not sure why he'll be doing this sort of thing, but as Oscar Wilde once pointed out : You can't just get up on stage and drink goat's urine for two hours"
Actually that may not have been Oscar Wilde, that might have been me. You can tell the difference.
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